Raglan Community Radio host Jane Forkert is turning podcaster with a new show Hearts Locked Up – a podcast about mothers with children in prison.
Jane hopes her podcast will provide a safe space for mothers of inmates to share their experiences and to find community with others in a similar situation.
“I want to give mothers a voice, because they shut themselves down and they’re shut down by society,” she says.
Jane is walking this journey herself with her middle son currently serving a long stretch for drug-related offences.
“I found it cathartic talking about my own experience and I know it could help other mothers who are carrying that huge load by themselves. Plus, it’s helpful for other people listening who have never experienced this side of life.”
Most mothers experience some form of guilt over their parenting skills, but Jane says, as mother of an inmate she put herself under the microscope.
“I spent the first year looking back and going – should I have encouraged him to play hockey through high school, because he was so good at it, he could have been a famous hockey player. But, as a single parent, I just burnt out after seven years of trying to get three boys to three different places every Saturday.”
She’s since found peace with herself and accepted the good and bad of being a mother of three very different personalities.
Jane’s youngest has a very successful career in IT and all the boys are intelligent in their own right. But, Jane says, it’s also important for an individual to take responsibility for their own actions.
“I’m part of their journey, but you don’t have to make it mean everything about you as a mother,” she says. “But this is what most mothers live with every day when their son or daughter goes to prison. It’s the label they put on themselves and society does as well.”
Getting over the guilt is one thing, then there are the prison visits, constant phone calls and the worry that they might not make it out the other side of their prison sentence.
“For the first couple of years Caleb was ringing two three times a day, and you get to the stage where you just have your phone glued to you because you can’t miss a call,” she says “You’re always on edge, because you’re thinking they’re going to be stabbed and they’re going through all sorts of psychological stuff.”
Not one to shy away from being open and honest, Jane will shine a light on her own experiences in the first episode of Hearts Locked Up – My Son is Inside.
“There are so many layers to having a child in prison that you’re dealing with all the time, and it’s a massive learning curve. There’s the stigma, plus the guilt, and I know this sounds awful, but in some ways, death is easier because it’s final and it’s accepted in society. Maybe what the podcast can do is normalise what these mothers are feeling and experiencing.”
Knowing that the stigma attached to being a mother of an inmate may deter people from sharing their journey, Jane is happy for people to use an alias.
“I always find when people have come on the radio for an interview, they walk out feeling amazing because they’ve shared a bit about themselves, and they’ve stepped into their own hearts,” she says.
If you would like to share your story as a mother of an inmate, contact Jane at hearttalksrcr@happilyheart.com or join her Facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/heartslockedup/.
by Janine Jackson
