Talking About Mental Health with Ruby Gibbs creator of the Mental health Toolbox

Kia ora whānau and a big awhi to all of you for reading this column over the last ten months.

I started this column hoping to encourage conversations about our mental health and help people find tools to add to their toolboxes. Still, I didn’t expect how much value I would gain from it myself. It is truly special to sit down with friends and strangers alike to talk about the stuff that matters, and I can only hope our chats have inspired you all to do the same. 

When I sat down and read the interviews from the last ten months, I was struck by the differences in each person and their journey, but also by the universality of their resilience and desire to move forward. We all struggle, and we all experience pain, but what is important is that we commit to looking after ourselves. Dr Patte Randal told us that recovery is cyclical and that we need to understand our patterns and turn crises into opportunities. Eve MacFarlane reminded us that self-awareness is most important in mental health recovery, and Fleur told us how trusting her intuition has led to much more balance in her life. John and Glen from the local Men’s Group talked to us about the five core emotions; when you’re asking yourself why, try to figure out whether it is coming from anger, fear, sadness, disgust or enjoyment. Sometimes just asking yourself ‘why’ is enough of a road to understanding your behaviour. Another tip that has stayed with me was from Ngaru; life isn’t black and white. We all need to learn to live in the grey space, and there is so much colour in the grey. 

As we head into a busy summer here in Whāingaroa, it is important to ensure we don’t burn ourselves out amongst all the festivities and sunshine. One of the prevailing themes throughout all the interviews was connecting with nature. We have so much goodness right on our back doorstep, so whether you’re just popping your feet in the water or going on a hike, use your surroundings to ground yourself. And don’t forget to refill your cup!

Finally, a huge thank you to the lovely members of our community who spoke with me. Rach Hudson, Ngaru Toka, Eve Douglass, Rick Thorpe, Karamea Puriri, Harry Kitiona, John and Greg from the Men’s Group, Eve MacFarlane, Fleur Rubingh and Dr Patte Randal; your vulnerability to share your thoughts and feelings is admirable and appreciated. 

Here’s to a safe and happy summer, and I’ll see you all in 2023!

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